The year is gradually coming to an end. And in retrospect, I’m still deeply grateful for all the year has brought. Everything. Growing up for me was memorable. Sometimes I sit and recall moments I shared with my then trio and then the later twin or my parents and I have this slip of deep longing to go back to the way things were. Things may be different now. No, things are definitely different now. We are all grown up. But I am glad that we are. There’s this thing about life and being older and leaving home and trying to find your life’s path. You tend to loose your way in the midst of all the hassle and noise.
Roots. For me, there’s no better time to connect and rejuvenate than now. Whether its a particular group of friends or family or a partner or reaching out for someone or something higher, reaching deep to connect with our roots and who we are and what we are about is an ever challenging and urgent need in our noisy world.
Home is where my heart has been for a long time now and I love the lessons I learnt and keep learning directly or indirectly, that help me get back on track when I get lost or drowning in the noise. Home isn’t just family for me. This year it has also been a handful of close friends who have used their words and time to remind me of who I am, what I have and how much more I can become.
So here are some lessons from home; from the lowly and safe place I so wanted to leave and still miss in so many ways and the closeness I have been blessed to share with the ones not bonded by blood;
My father used to say something to us that was totally hilarious then. I am laughing really hard as I’m typing this part right now. My dad told us one day as we were driving home, “Even if you wanted to do Suya Science, you have my full support and you must do it well and make something out of it.” For my non-Nigerian readers, Suya is basically barbecued meat. But done so well and seasoned so specially that it has become a very popular night hang out menu. It has been so diversified that eateries are incorporating it into meals like noodles and pizzas! It tastes that good! Obviously, my father would not have been thrilled if anyone of us wanted to study Suya Science, but he was trying to tell us that he was solidly behind whatever decision we took regarding what we wanted to do with our lives, as long as he could see it brightening your future and making yours better than his. There is nothing so propelling as having the full support of people you care about in your endeavour. You literarily attain the stars!
We learnt how to look out for each other in my home. This was very important. You had to be able to tell how your brother or sisters were faring, at all times. Most of our growing up years had us in the same schools and a year or two at most ahead of each other. Today, we are all grown and everyone is still in pursuit of their dreams and goals and new lives, however, you have to make sure you have done all in your power to make the next person’s life better and easier. Relationships are everything. Taking out time to reach down and nurture and grow your relationships is very important. After all said and done, all the success will mean nothing if you do not have cheerleading team behind you.
My parents taught me to fight. Even with the scars and hurt and in blood and faintness, I have learnt to be a fighter. I have learnt that giving up is just the easy way out. I have learnt that even when you think you have no strength left to fight or no reason left to fight, keep it going. Someday you will look back and be amazed at how far you’ve come or how you made it to the finish line.
Time. The one thing we all keep trying to catch up with but never seem to. Because, somewhere, somehow this passing year, ample time was spent on a lot of things that we eventually did realize were never important. Choose wisely how to invest your time this coming year. And I hope you always remember that any time spent in building up a friendship, or any relationship at all with those in your life – reaching down to your roots, connecting with the people in your life – is always worth it. I learnt this from a dear friend this year.
The year has been full of ups and downs, I’m sure. But in all your struggles, and doings, in your successes and failures, never fail to touch base with your roots; never fail to remember where you come from, it always serves as a compass for where you are going and most importantly, what you should or shouldn’t do to get there. Asides from celebrating the birth of Jesus, the holidays have provided us with the opportunity to spend some time with people in our lives that matter or we hope will matter in the future. I say, seize the moment! and draw deeply out of it for the coming year.
Here’s to you my faithful reader, you have helped me achieve so much in this passing year and I am deeply thankful. We will do more this coming year, I can feel it strongly in my bones.
2016 will be a good year. Be willing to enjoy the journey and set realistic goals for the coming year. Remember to give your self credit for the milestones you achieve and never beat yourself up for the ones that didn’t turn out as planned. It always works out better than we imagined or planned, in the end.
Have the best the season has to offer!
Love, The Quiet One.