So, I’m out early one morning running an early errand for my dad and getting breakfast when this girl walks up to me and blurts out nervously, “Is my hair fine?” And while I was still taking a look at the hairstyle and trying to reach a conclusion on the fineness of the hair or lack of it, she blurts out again, “People are starring at me!”
I smiled, really amused by her and how she could walk up to a perfect female stranger and ask about her hair but was bothered because she felt people were starring at her. Well, her hair wasn’t bad. It was actually the rave-of-the-moment hairstyle in town and the stylist had done a pretty good job. Her makeup, however was problematic.
She had a ridiculous shade of blue eyeshadow which was badly applied and looked tacky and she had a bright chalky pink lipstick on (I’m really being nice here), which appeared rather harsh and out of place on a Friday morning. And I told her so, really nicely though, “Your hair is okay; your makeup is kinda loud”, I said smiling. She smiled weakly and walked off still complaining about her hair and her hairdresser who had refused to make the hair as she had really wanted it.
We women love to look good. We love to dress nice and smell good and generally look our best. In recent times, ladies have proven that they would stop at nothing to look good. It’s even worse these days as the cute and handsome men want to be seen only with the beautiful and fashionable ladies (I’m right, right?).
And in the face of an ever dynamic fashion industry and a host of makeup trends to keep up with, it’s not difficult to come across a woman who isn’t very confident about how she looks (actually, most of us are). I’m one of the women with the “beauty is skin deep” mentality. I believe there is definitely more to being beautiful than having a pretty face and shapely legs. I however do not believe that taking care of our appearances as women is flimsy or utterly superficial. But somehow, we’ve found ourselves in this society that attaches so much to looks that we are prepared to go the length to look the part.
Take the most recent rave for fairer complexions, for instance. And the unfortunate result of these stereotypes we create is that they constantly leave a trail of women who will forever question their attractiveness and whose esteem and confidence will forever be attached to looking the part or not. When it comes to looking the part for the male folk, ahh! it’s a whole different ball game altogether. We get the shortest gowns in the stores even when our minds tell us that our cellulite-laden thighs will look better in a longer dress. We wear the figure-hugging tights that do not do any good to our figures that we are too lazy to keep in shape. And thank God for Internet, we are making some good progress in the makeup department!(except my nervous stranger “friend”, I suppose.)
But I kind of realize that this happens because we try too hard or because we do it for the guys. And I have absolutely no problems with looking good for the guys only that when it comes to them, we are always trying too hard! A lot happens when we go way out of our way trying to impress, especially members of the opposite sex.
We tend to get it all wrong. And because we are all clad in what we aren’t very comfortable in, it tells greatly on our carriage and confidence. We’ve come to a point where we agree we cannot all move around all the time in our “au natural” state. Makeup and fancy dresses come in handy, yes. But they are supposed to enhance looks and make you more comfortable with your appearance and not the opposite!
So here’s what I propose: dress for yourself. When I wear makeup or dress up for an occasion or on a normal day, I wear what I’m comfortable in first of all. And then I consider others who would be “fortunate” or “unfortunate” (depending on what I wear) to have seen me that day. My style is very simple and elegant and I’m okay with it. Some days I don’t feel like makeup and I do well without it perfectly.
When you are comfortable with the way you look and dress at any time, it automatically boosts your esteem and you realize you are walking down the road feeling like a million bucks! And real men approach confident women.
Ladies, it’s not always about what’s in vogue or not. It’s not just about fancy dresses and colourful eyeshadows and bright red lipsticks. It’s not about the guys too. It’s about you and your confidence in what you look like and what you do to enhance your looks and how you feel about all of it. I saw my nervous stranger “friend” where I went to get breakfast (and for a split second I thought, “wait, is she stalking?” For real.) . I smiled at her as I left and she smiled back still nervous and obviously reluctant to be moving around again.