First things first, I hate Valentine’s Day! Yeah, I really do. Or to put it aptly, I hate what we’ve made it become. For those who don’t know, here’s how it all started;
Saint Valentine was a Christian martyr, Valentinus, who was persecuted and killed in the 5th century in Rome. Until his death, he was believed to have been performing weddings for soldiers who were forbidden under the rule of Emperor Claudius II to marry and ministering to persecuted Christians as well.
It was also believed that he healed a young convert Julia, the daughter of his jailer, Asterius, who had been blind from birth and before he was murdered, he wrote her a letter urging her to stay close to God and signed it, ‘Your Valentine’.
There has been a lot of dispute as to when or how there became a feast day for Valentinus or how February 14th came to be known as Valentine’s Day. Firstly, there were a couple of Christian martyrs at that time who were also named Valentinus; the way you know a lot of Chiomas’, or Folakes’ or Aishas’.
While some claim the orthodox church converted one of the pagan Roman love and fertility god feast days into St Valentine’s Day in line with the early practise of converting pagan feasts days to Christian memorials, it is also believed that the origins of the celebration of February 14th as Saint Valentine’s Day was linked to a poem written by Geoffrey Chaucer in the 14th Century about Saint Valentine, love and mating birds. How weird is that?
Well, there are a lot of texts and theories online as regards the Valentine origin debate but we’ll move on to the important part of this discussion.
Somewhere on planet earth today, some young lady or man is going to be sitting in his or her home wondering how it is that they aren’t in a relationship, and how that sucks specially today because it is Valentine’s Day and they should be spending time with a special someone or ogling over red teddies and boxes of chocolate because that’s how it is supposed to be, right? Wrong.
Some guy is going to go break the bank and over extend his spending limit for today because he has been pressured by his girlfriend who has drummed it into his ears countless times that she has to have received the best Val’s gifts amongst her female crew of friends by the end of the day.
Somehow, she has been unable to see the different shades of wrongs in her association if she has to drive her man to the limits in order to impress a group of friends.
A man or two and for sure, a lady or two today will tell incredible lies to keep up with their charade of multiple relationships because these days, loyalty and fidelity are no longer attractive or in vogue. It is a battle of wits and smartness, of the sexes, of the one who is able to outwit the other or play and win someone at their own game. After all, life is a battle field and only the fit survive, right? Wrong again.
Ridiculous amounts of money will be spent today trying to impress someone else who sadly may not value or appreciate what is being given. Ridiculous amounts of money will be spent today in exchange for peanuts in the name of valentine gifts. You know, Nigerian women are always accused of giving only boxers, briefs, handkerchiefs and singlets to their partners as valentine gifts year in year out, while the guys go on buying expensive gifts and services to impress them. Are you guilty? Lol! I digress. Since when did love become a competition that needed a winner?
It’s definitely not my intention to make this post longer than it should so here are the real reasons why I hate Valentine’s Day;
- It’s lost its meaning! Because it didn’t really have one to start with! This is one of those feasts with shaky foundations that kind of start out like an uprising that turns into a trend that people follow without reason. There, I said it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think picking out a day to commemorate love is wrong as it is to have Best Friends Day and World Aids Day. However, this is one of those ones we have taken to another terrible level for most part.
There’s no such thing as a one day celebration of love be it romantic or otherwise. Are you kidding me? If you have to wait until its Valentine’s Day to tell someone you love them and they mean the world to you, then something is wrong. Really wrong.
- Someone will make life changing decisions today solely from a rush of feel good hormones and the addictive lovey dovey spirit in the air that I refuse to catch. Aids has never been more real, single parenthood hasn’t phased out and ladies are still very good at trapping guys into marriages with babies even if they can see the end of the road from the start. Just saying.
- Someone is going to throw a pity party today mourning their single life, the fact that there’s no one to spend today with and how that deeply sucks. Well, it’s really pointless. When did we limit love to just romance and the rest of that stuff? You go out and spend your day with some friends or family or better still enjoy some alone time today. Life has never been defined by your acquisition of a boo/bae and it shouldn’t be today just because everyone believes that’s how today should be spent.
- And then there is the annoying part of being stuffed in the face with red!! Red teddies, red cards, red flowers and more red, red, red!!!! I went to the market yesterday to get some baking ingredients (not for a Valentine cake) and I shook my head as i walked down aisles of store filled with red valentine stuff and of course, young women standing around in deep thoughts trying to choose the perfect gifts.
Love is timeless, it should extend beyond daily commemorations and memorials. It has never been a one day affair. We give our all into impressing our partners today so that the rest of the year can be as normal and boring as it always has been? Everyday you have life in you is definitely another chance to express your love to a partner or friend or someone in need with words and gifts; Valentine’s Day should be another opportunity to continue to profess and show love not the only day to show love.
Love is beautiful. Celebrating love is even more beautiful and necessary. Devoting an entire day to celebrate love is even more significant of how this one thing means a whole lot to the whole human race. Whether you hate or love Valentine’s Day, celebrate or detest it, acknowledge it or just do not care, love is a beautiful thing and transcends time. Never reduce it to a one day splurge of roses and chocolates, sex and condoms or sunsets on an exotic beach.
Your Valentine, The Quiet One.